Lettuce, Tomato!

Dirty Jokes | Submited Apr 7, 2008

Written by: Mraie

There is this college student whose nine year-old brother is his roommate. It's near the end of the year, and the college student wants to get it on with this chick. He and the girl went on a date, and came back to his place, and he finds his little brother asleep already; they have a bunk bed, and his little brother was on the bottom bunk. The college student and the girl go to the top bunk; he whispers to her, "Don't be too loud, I don't want to wake up my brother." As things started to heat up, he tells her, "When you want me to go faster say 'lettuce', when you want me to slow down, say 'tomato'."

They get it on, and the chick is screaming "LETTUCE TOMATO LETTUCE TOMATO LETTUCE TOMATO....!!! AHHHHH!!! I DON'T WANT TO GET PREGNANT!!!!"

The little brother wakes up, and he yells "WOULD YOU TWO STOP MAKING SANDWICHES BECAUSE YOU'RE GETTING MAYONNAISE ALL OVER MY FACE!"