SEX!!

Now that I have your attention, you might as well finish reading my profile.
Let's se, oh yeah. My name is...damn it..hold on...oh yeah, is Jake Phlieger. I like girls. They are like super awesome. Sports are fun. Especially football, wrestling, cross-country, and track. Philadelphia Eagles are my team. woot! woot! I'm not emoish, gothic, punkish, skaterish, preppy, slutty, nerdy, or crazy. Okay...wait a minute. Yeah that's right. Anyways I'm cool with just about anyone except bullies. They aren't cool. Go to hell!! Oh and terroists suck balls!!! woot! woot! Umm... oh yeah. Uhh...that's it. I think.

COMMIES!!

~I do not think ethical, legal, or sane.~
~I will not hesitate to bite your leg.~
~Fat people with guns is not what America needs.
~98% of people would stop breathing if Hollister said it was cool.~
~Windex and blue kool-aid are not the same thing.~
~If life hands you lemons, hit people with them.~
~24 beers in a case, 24 hours in a day, coincidence?~
~I dial my number on my phone, just to see if I'm home.~
~Mouse pads taste like sponge cake.~
~I bought some batteries, but they weren't included, so I had to buy them again.~
~I'm thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose.~
~Three things to succeed: A wishone, a backbone, and a funnybone.~
~If life hands you lemons, make lemonade, then find someone life hands vodka, and throw a party.~
~Everything is funny as long as it's happening to someone else.~
~The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits.~
~It isn`t premarital sex if you have no intention of getting married.~
~A girl's legs are her best friends, but the best of friends must part.~
~L.O.V.E.: Legs Open Very Easy.~
~Women need a reason to have sex, men just need a place.~